Margo Maguire

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO WRITE?

 

When I first began my writing career, I decided to write a “hospital horror” story. After all, I’d been an intensive care nurse for years and I knew the ins and outs of hospital life. I knew all the dark little corners and quiet secrets. My hospital was on the cutting edge of many new technologies – why not incorporate all that into a book that would terrify my audience?

 

Because there wasn’t much of a market for it. If I wanted to break into fiction-writing as a paying job, I needed to understand market demands.

 

Fortunately, I have a friend who is a college professor of English Lit and creative writing. He recommended that if I was serious about writing, I should attend a writers’ workshop. He told me about one that’s held once a year by a local group at a nearby university. I attended two of these and learned an incredible trove of craft and market information from the authors who presented workshops.

 

So that’s my first recommendation:

 

Find one or two writers’ workshops and invest the registration fee and the time it takes to attend. My guess is that (since you’re here) you’re interested in writing a romance novel. You ought to check out Romance Writers of America (http://www.rwa.org/). Not only is there a national conference with lots of incredibly valuable workshops, but there are local chapters all over the country that invite speakers to their monthly meetings.

 

Some of these put on yearly workshops on a smaller scale than RWA. Check out the RWA website. There is loads of information there, and when you join the organization, you will receive a monthly magazine that’s filled with articles about writing. It also gives information on all the workshops that are being presented around the country. You can usually attend these even if you are not a member.

 

Those first writers’ workshops that I attended were organized into two different tracks: the craft of writing, and the business of writing. The first consisted of talks given by authors on such aspects as writing dialogue, plotting, developing characters. The second was all about agents, editors, and publishers – what they look for in a manuscript, what you have to do to get one of them. It also addressed the literary market – what’s selling and what’s not.

 

My second recommendation: Do your homework on the marketplace. Just because you want to write a book about a Chinese pirate in 1798 who falls in love with an English earl’s daughter as he’s taking control of their ship … well, unless you’ve got some huge marketing guru behind you, it’s not going to sell. The market dictates what publishers buy. Once in awhile, they’ll go out on a limb (in Romance, anyway) and pick up an author whose writing is spectacular, even though the concept or setting is off the beaten track. But those are few and far between.

 

During those first two writers’ conferences I attended, I discovered that over half the mass market paperback sales belonged to the Romance genre. I decided I needed to figure out what a romance novel was, and possibly try writing one. I bought a few and started reading. Then I bought a few more. I probably read 50 to 100 books, keeping it up until I understood what good romance writing was about, and what the market expected out of a romance novel. As I read all these books, several ideas for my own stories began to percolate in my mind.

 

The important point is that when I considered what it would take to become a published author, I took into account what the market was. I could write a little niche book – a book I was dying to write – that might garner me 1,000 readers, or go for a larger audience. It all depends on what kind of writing career you’d like to achieve.

 

 

 

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SHOW, DON'T TELL:

 

Seasoned authors create scenes that SHOW the reader what’s happening with the plot and characters, rather than telling about it. Here’s an example below. Which one is more interesting, more compelling? Which one gives you better insight into the characters?

 

1. They argued. She was angry that he hadn’t seen fit to mention he’d been involved with Andrea the year before. He’d had lots of opportunities to tell her, but he’d let every one of them go.

 

Or

 

2. “What? You slept with Andrea?” Jackie demanded. Her breath seemed caught somewhere between her heart and her throat.
“Look. It was a long time ago,” Rob said, rolling his eyes.
“When, exactly?”
“Last year.”
Jackie grabbed her keys and purse, but fumbled with her keys and they dropped to the floor. Tears burned at the back of her throat as she bent to pick them up. “That’s just great. You waited until now you tell me.”

 

It’s just a short passage, but I think you can see how much more compelling the second version is. It gives the reader a chance to see who these characters are, rather than “hearing” second-hand about them. This isn’t always about dialogue, either. You could go on with Example #2 and tell the reader that Jackie was upset and rushed out to her car, driving away from Rob’s apartment as fast as she could.

 

Or you could show it.

 

Tears blurred her vision. She tore out of her parking spot, nearly scraping the car that was parked behind her.

Here’s another example of showing. It’s the first meeting between the hero and heroine of Seducing the Governess, my April 2011 book.

 

The gray skies opened up and Mercy scrambled to put away Mr. Lowell’s letter before it was ruined. With all due haste, she gathered her heavy traveling cases and followed his direction, and as she rounded the curve in the road, noted that the ruts were already overflowing with muddy water from a previous rain. She stepped over and around each one as best she could, but the mud sucked at her shoes and she feared they would be ruined before she arrived.

Struggling to manage her luggage, the sudden sound of horses startled her, and she scuttled off the road just as a group of men on horseback rounded the curve at high speed and came upon her. Some of them wore the rag-tag remnants army uniforms, but none of them even noticed her cowering in the trees alongside the road. They splattered mud onto her simple brown wool coat, and as the last man rode by, he turned and caught a glance of her shocked face.

Without so much as a twitch of his thick, dark mustache, he turned back to follow the others as only a despicable barbarian would do.

With her already sour mood worsening, Mercy wiped the spray of mud from her cheek and resumed her walk, hoping she’d soon reach the turnstile. Perhaps she’d find a well where she could draw water to wash some of the mud from her clothes and face before meeting Mr. Lowell. It was unusual, to say the least, for a gentleman to be the person in charge of hiring a governess for the earl’s niece, but it had been Mercy’s only offer of employment. Unconventional or not, she desperately needed the position.

Her father had died suddenly last summer, leaving barely enough for her and Susanna to live on. Mercy had questioned her mother regarding their finances, but her only answer was that Reverend Franklin had made many investments that had gone bad. They’d lived in a borrowed cottage and relied upon the kindness of her father’s parishioners. But after Susanna’s short illness and death, it had become clear that Mercy needed to make her own way. She’d had to find employment.

She held tightly to her traveling cases and stepped back into the road, just as another horseman galloped into sight. He saw her a moment too late and his horse reared, throwing him to the muddy ground.
Somehow, Mercy managed to stay on her feet, but she gave a startled cry. As soon as the massive horse had ambled away, she collected herself and called out to him. “Are you injured, sir?”

 

He sat up gingerly, and when he shoved his hat off his face where it had slumped, Mercy noticed his scars. One side of his face had been injured – probably burned. A thick webbing of damaged skin marred the peak of his cheek and his brow, and clouded the eye in between. Likely he had not seen her in the road.

Mercy could not imagine what cruel fate had marred such a striking face. His nose was nicely shaped, his jaw square and strong, and slightly cleft, indicating a more potent masculinity than she’d encountered in any other man. His lips were neither too thin nor too full, but were stretched into a solemn line that indicated a fair degree of irritation.
Mercy immediately realized he was not the kind of man she ought to be alone with, not when she could feel his powerful physicality even from where she stood.

 

Fortunately, he did not look at her, but scowled and reached for his ankle through his highly polished Hessians. And as he did so, Mercy wondered if her conscience would allow her to slip away without further congress. Without offering her assistance.
“Aye,” he muttered. “Injured.” His tone was wry, as though such a simple mishap could hardly be called an injury. He gave an incredulous shake of his head, then tried to rotate his foot, but grimaced with discomfort.
She took a step toward him. “Sir…”

 

He glanced up and caught her eye. Mercy stopped in her tracks and held her tongue, doubtful that he was a man who would willingly accept assistance.
“A mild sprain, I think.”
“Oh dear.”
A muscle in his jaw tensed. “You’ll have to help me take off my boot.”
“I beg your pardon?”
His voice was stern and his words carried the tone of command. “The boot must come off now, else the swelling will prevent it coming off later. Come here.”
He glared at her with his good eye, its clear gray color going as dark with annoyance as the murky storm clouds above. “Do you plan to stand gaping at me all afternoon? I am quite certain I cannot be the only one who hopes to get out of the weather sooner rather than later.”

 

Mercy gave herself a mental shake. She had no business ruminating upon his beautiful, scarred face or allowing the rumble of his deep, masculine voice to resonate through her, clear to her bones. He was an overbearing boor, in spite of his pleasing features, and the sooner she was done with him, the sooner she could be on her way.
Mercy had experience in dealing with an autocratic man, for her father had been one, and more severe than most. He had never approved of her speaking her own mind. And yet her usual demure manner did not suit the current situation in the least.

 

“You would not be in this position had you taken more care around that curve.” Mercy nearly clapped her hand over her mouth at her rude retort. But he was not her father.
She raised her chin a notch and mentally dared him to reprimand her.
“You’re an expert at riding, then?” He did not bother to hide his sarcasm.

 

Mercy let out her breath when he did not retort as her father would have done. “Hardly.”
She glanced about for an optimum spot for her bags and set them down. Swallowing her misgivings, she approach the man once again. “But I know the difference between good common sense and foolhardiness.”
He made a rude noise. “Like stepping into the road in front of a galloping horse?”
“I did not hear you coming after that last bunch of ruffians…”
He waved off her words. “I haven’t got all day.” He raised his foot in her direction.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to manage on your own, sir. It is hardly proper—”

“What are you, a priggy society miss?” he said roughly, giving her the once-over with a critical gaze. “Give the boot a good heave and be quick about it.”
“I am no prig, sir.” But even as she denied it, she wondered if it were true. Was she a prig?

 

No. She was a well-bred lady who knew better than to dally with a handsome rogue on an isolated stretch of road.
“Then kindly give me a moment’s assistance,” he said impatiently, “and I will depart your precious piece of road.”
Mercy had never felt so awkward in her life, though she found it oddly invigorating to speak her mind for a change. After years of responding so carefully to her father and every other member of the parish, Mercy’s tongue felt surprisingly loose with this stranger.

 

She placed her gloved hands on the boot and pulled, ignoring the ignominious position in which she found herself. She couldn’t even imagine bending like this over Mr. Andrew Vale’s foot. He had been the perfect gentleman who’d asked her to marry him, not a wretched horseman who thought nothing of running down people in the road.
“You’ll never get it that way. Turn around,” he said.
“How am I to—”
“You’ll have to take my foot under your arm and—”
She dropped said foot and he grimaced in pain. “I’ll do no such thing.”
“You’ll barely have to touch me, I promise you.” Mercy detected a hint of amusement in his tone. He was actually enjoying this. “I’ve done this many times before. Go ahead. Turn around.”
She huffed out a harsh breath and did as she was told, gingerly taking his foot in hand once again.
She jerked the boot away while he leaned back and pulled in the opposite direction.
“You have a very fetching backside,” he said, just as the boot came off. Mercy lost her balance and took a few quick steps forward, landing in a deep puddle in her path, destroying her shoe.

 

© Margo Maguire 2011.

 

Try to show more than tell in one of your own scenes. See if you can make it come to life. Don’t be afraid to toss what you’ve written. Save the old one and copy it to a new document – then play around with it.

 

 

ALL ABOUT CONFLICT

 

Can you think of a book you read and loved that was without any conflict? I’ll bet the answer is no. A good story is full of conflict and setbacks, rife with faulty reasoning and rationales, goals, both easy and difficult, and clear motivations for actions. And all these conflicts provide room for growth of the characters in the story.

 

Conflicts should be not only external – or plot – conflicts, but also internal conflicts. Say you have a character named Malone whose goal is to save a group of children who are being held hostage in a remote camp somewhere. That’s an external goal. It’s about the plot. It’s a goal that’s going to drive some interesting action, but the internal conflict is just as important. What if Malone is a millionaire xenophobe who never gets his hands dirty, especially for a bunch of foreign kids who shouldn’t be in this country, anyway? Can you see how the internal and external conflicts are in direct opposition to each other?

 

To make it even more complex, you might add yet another character whose own personal conflicts (both internal and external) are in opposition to Malone’s.

I’ll use a few well-known movies to show examples of conflicts:

 

You’ve Got Mail

The external conflicts center on the dissolution of a little bookstore owned by Kathleen because a giant super bookstore is moving in around the corner. The big store is owned by Joe’s family. The internal conflicts revolve around the irony of Kathleen and Joe having a cyber relationship without knowing each other’s true identities. When Joe finds out who he’s fallen in love with via email, he is conflicted about what his store will do to her career. He can’t just stop the process of starting his family’s huge store, but he knows it will destroy Kathleen’s business. When Kathleen learns who Joe is, she must overcome (or not) the notion that he is the enemy.

 

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana and Marion share what is obviously a contentious past, which sets them up for conflict and mistrust throughout the film. But the main conflict is external – the Nazis seem to be close to finding the Ark of the Covenant, which will give them some (vaguely explained) supernatural power. Indiana must find it first, or else the Nazis will attain unfathomable power. Think of all the setbacks Indy suffers. He can’t just find the Ark and pull it out of the deep tomb. No – he and Marion get stuck in the tomb. Then there are all those classic scenes where they pursue the Ark before they finally achieve the goal. But it’s not easy. Nor should your story be.

 

The African Queen

Rose Sayer is a British missionary in East Africa when WWI breaks out and the Germans arrive and burn down the mission, killing her brother. Charlie Allnut (sort of a lowdown character) arrives and takes Rose away on his rundown boat, The African Queen. Rose is prim and proper and looks down on Charlie. He is a very rough-around-the-edges drinker, and there is immediate conflict between the two. When Rose learns a German ship is blocking the British from engaging them in battle, she proposes they travel down the river in the African Queen and blow up the German ship. The trip down the river is laced with danger (external conflicts), but they manage to achieve the ultimate goal. Both the internal and external conflicts are obvious in this film: By the end of the movie, they’ve blown up the German ship and they’ve learned to respect each other, even though they could barely tolerate each other at the beginning.

 

When Harry Met Sally

Harry and Sally don’t really like each other when they first meet. They’ve got their own belief systems, which are not in accord with each other, but that’s ok, because they only need to get through a car trip to NYC after graduation. There is not a lot of external plot to this story, although most of it seems to be provided by Harry’s and Sally’s best friends, who meet through Harry and Sally and end up dating. There are also the breakups between Harry and his wife and Sally and her boyfriend. They find themselves single at the same time and become friends. They learn to accept each other in spite of their hang-ups, and overcome all the reasons why they can’t be together.

 

Return to Me

Bob’s wife Elizabeth dies in a horrible accident, and becomes an organ donor. As Bob grieves, his emotional life falls apart. He is unable to move past Elizabeth’s death until he meets Grace at her grandfather’s restaurant. She is shy and charming, and he finds himself attracted to her. Unbeknownst to Bob, Grace is the transplant recipient of Elizabeth’s heart. So, while the courtship/plot moves on under the “supervision” of Grace’s grandfather and his meddling old friends, Bob’s internal conflict (risking his heart again) begins to resolve. But Grace realizes that she has Elizabeth’s heart, and knows she has to tell Bob. He fulfills her worst fears when he shows he is unable to deal with it, and she goes (runs) away to Italy to accomplish her own dream of painting in Europe. Then they both overcome their fears and insecurities and get together again.

 

With conflicts should come character growth. Or not – depending on the kind of book you write. Sometimes, a character just will not learn and grow from his experiences.

 

This is often true of the antagonist in a novel. The bad guy just doesn’t get it – doesn’t understand why he was defeated. It’s part of why he’s the bad guy. He has no empathy, no room for growth, no “emotional intelligence.”

 

Try thinking about your favorite books or movies and see if you can come up with the internal and external conflicts in the stories. The external ones are usually easy to spot… the internal ones… not so much.

REQUIREMENTS OF A SCENE

 

Authors don’t just stick scenes into their novels because they sound good. There is a reason – actually there are several reasons or purposes – for each scene. When you look at your work, make sure that each of your scenes accomplishes several of the following:

 

1. Move the story/plot along.
- The reader finds out who the suspect is.
- The murder occurs or someone falls off the boat, etc.
- Characters meet for the first time

 

2. Establish atmosphere
- Create a mood.
- Describe the setting
- Put the characters into position for the next action
- Create humor/tension/fear

 

3. Give insight into the characters
- A character will make a revelation – knowingly or unknowingly
- A character might suddenly understand something about himself

 

4. Show conflict
- See article on conflict
- Be sure to show it more than upi tell about it

 

5. Develop the theme
- Show that good always wins over evil
- Have your characters demonstrate the power of science
- There is no place like home
- Love conquers all

 

Here are two examples of scenes:

 

1. They went to the restaurant Mary had recommended, and since it was a warm day, decided to eat outside. Lunch was served and it was as good as they expected. “How’s your sandwich?” Jane asked.
“Not bad. I’ve always liked corned beef.”
They spent an hour in the restaurant chatting about their day, and the meeting they would have later that evening with Bob. The traffic made it difficult to talk, so they found themselves nearly shouting at each other.

 

Or

 

2. Mary was always a reliable font of information. She’d recommended The Tavern on the Green, so Jane and Fred decided to have lunch there. Fred wanted to sit outside, even though it was blistering hot out and the traffic on the busy street made it difficult to converse in a normal tone. Jane would have preferred to stay inside where it was quiet and the a/c kept it comfortably cool, but no. As usual, she was too timid to say what she really wanted.
“How’s your sandwich?” she asked after they’d taken the first few bites. She didn’t really care. Her own food tasted like dust when she thought about the meeting they had to have to have later with Bob.

 

Ok, I’ve got one more line in Example 2, but you can see the difference between the two. Sample 1 barely puts the reader into the setting. Sample 2 tells you that Jane is timid and she’s dreading the meeting with Bob. Maybe it’s showing the reader that Fred is a little bit domineering – he decides they’ll eat outside even though Jane doesn’t want to. A little bit of conflict here? Conflict about the meeting with Bob, certainly.

 

Make sure you accomplish a few of the things listed above in every one of your scenes.

WRITING DIALOGUE

 

Dialogue should be elevated above the level of normal conversation. It needs to sparkle with vocabulary and cleverness and "character-ness." You should be able to tell who is speaking, even without a dialogue tag. It should move things along, and not just take up space. Every exchange accomplishes something - increases the conflict, gives information, illustrates who your character is. It's not about telling the reader what everyone is having for breakfast - unless that's a crucial point that gives insight into the character.

 

“That looks great!” John said, even though he hated pancakes. But Claire had gone to the trouble of making them, so he would eat them. With enthusiasm.

Here’s an example from my December 2011 Book, Brazen:

“This will only take a moment.” Gathering her wits, Christina took the linen and quickly tore it into strips, then folded one section into a large square and pressed it to the wound. Then she wrapped his arm with the remaining strips.

“How did you learn to do this?” Briggs asked.
“I have three younger brothers. One or the other was always in some kind of scrape. Blood was often involved.”

 

(© Margo Maguire, 2011)

 

The reader and Briggs learn something about Christina in this short interchange. Here’s another one from the same book:

 

“If we leave now, we can make it to Windermere the day after tomorrow,” Captain Briggs said when he turned and saw her standing at the window in the drawing room.
“I’m not going to Windermere,” Christina replied.
“Yes, you are.”
“I need to go to London first.”
He tucked the long tails of his shirt into his trews. Then he caught her gaze and spoke quietly. “I’d rather not tie you to the back of my horse, Lady Fairhaven, but I will if I—”
“Do you order your wife about this way, Captain Briggs?”
“I have no wife, Lady Fairhaven. And I assure you that if I did have one, she would be far more tractable—”
“I am being blackmailed, Captain. I need to go to London right away.”

(© Margo Maguire, 2011)

Make your dialogue count. It’s a great way to show, rather than tell. Get those feelings out, get that plot moved forward!

 

AVOID CLICHES AND STEREOTYPES

 

Clichés are expressions like “the patience of Job” or “money can’t buy happiness.” Some of them are true, and so are stereotypes or “cliché-ed situations.” But they are so hackneyed that readers (and editors) roll their eyes when they read them, unless they’re treated in an original way. So try not to use them in your writing, unless you can make them particularly funny or compelling.

 

Here are a few examples of what I mean.

 

It’s dark in the house and the heroine hears a noise. She trips over something, but of course – it’s the cat. This can work. But usually, the reader sees it coming a mile away (see what I mean? – why couldn’t I come up with a less hackneyed phrase to express this?)

 

The hero just loves a woman who will EAT.

 

A gossipy neighbor who conveniently has exactly the information the investigator needs.

 

He’s a kindly old gent with twinkly eyes.

 

A plump fellow (or woman) who is messy and slovenly – and maybe even toothless! And definitely an abuser of her foster children..

 

The villain who never dies. He just keeps on coming back to cause more and more trouble for the hero and/or heroine.

 

 

POINT OF VIEW

 

In genre fiction, most scenes are written in one character’s point of view or POV. That means that the reader experiences the scene from that character’s perspective. The reader is in his skin. You read his thoughts and feelings. You can almost anticipate what he’s going to say next and why. Most successful authors do not switch POV in the midst of the scene – it can cause too much confusion for the reader. Some authors are good at moving seamlessly in one scene from one character’s POV to another, but it takes skill and practice.

 

Usually the scene is written in the POV of the character who has the most to lose. Or the most conflict with what’s going on. The POV character can conceal certain facts from the other characters, but let the reader in on the secret. Sometimes it’s the POV character who is receiving a huge revelation and the reader is in on his reaction to it.

One last tip about POV. If the scene you’re trying to write isn’t moving along correctly, try switching the POV. You might find a solution to your predicament that way.

 

HOOK THE READER FROM PAGE ONE

 

Take a critical look at your beginning pages. Do you need to scrap them and start your book in the middle of Chapter Two? Maybe even Chapter Three! Lots of beginning writers spend too much time giving background information right at the start of their work. This is not the way to capture your reader and make her miss her bus stop! (Just kidding. I wouldn’t want anyone to miss their stop).

 

It’s far better to get the book started in the middle of some kind of action, whether emotional or physical. It sets up the reader to care about what’s going to happen next. They are engaged. They can’t wait to turn the page. Then somewhere down the line, you can filter in all that valuable information you once had up front. Readers don’t really want to read an essay about your character’s past. They want it eventually, but write it so it emerges organically from the story.

 

PASSIVE VOICE – AVOID IT!

 

This is a choice of style, but generally, use of the passive voice slows down the pace of the work and weakens it.

 

Here are examples:

 

Passive: The lion was shot by the hunter.
Active: The hunter shot the lion.

 

Passive: When Eric was hit by the baseball, he was taken to the hospital.
Active: Tom hit Eric with the baseball, and his dad took him to the hospital.

 

Not a huge difference between the two, but the active voice in each example is more dynamic. It is also clearer. Sometimes the passive voice is useful. “John was murdered.” It lends a bit of mystery to the sentence, better than “Someone murdered John.” You might also show weakness in a character by using the passive voice in dialogue: “My homework got lost.”

 

As a general rule, though, try to avoid the passive voice in your writing.